I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize