even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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