Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
