it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
