I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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