I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
