Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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