you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
