She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
