okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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