Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
