at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
