so explain again why im purple
no
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
pray to the hookup gods
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
