So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm too high and old for this...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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