it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
