The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
