So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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