Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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