your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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