I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
