maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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