how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I am in a vortex of obligation.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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