She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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