belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
