Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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