Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
