drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
