dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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