True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
