Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

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(949): View more from California

he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment

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(503): View more from Oregon

I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.

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(317): View more from Indiana

She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.

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