Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
