I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
