Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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