no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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