there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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