how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize