But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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