I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
