WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
