so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
