I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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