took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
