To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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