You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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