You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
