I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize