Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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