Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
