Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize