Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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