Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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