Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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