508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
