What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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