People with herpes should wear stickers.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
