Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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