He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
