I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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