Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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