I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
