wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The adults are the big ones right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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